I am just watching the red carpet coverage now and am gonna just shoot from the hip and say what I think as I watch.  In my head the result will be a stream of consciousness a la “The Rules of Attraction.”  Vera Farmiga went with the weakest magenta, Marchesa gown of all time.  I refuse to believe that dress is even from a recent season as it has seemingly made an appearance on every major red carpet for the past two years.  I just watched Vera in “Orphan” and contrary to what I thought was an unremarkable turn in the critically-lauded “Up in the Air”, she killed it in “Orphan.”  I like:  Maggie G, Sandra Bullock  and Diane Kruger.  I don’t love Amanda Seyfried.  Carey Mulligan played it safe, but looks cute.  I’m not naming names, but an anonymous youngster in the room just suggested I give an award to Giuliana DePandi’s rack.  So, blue ribbon for that.  Sandra Bullock was just a dickhead to her publicist and it was majorly awkward.  I will forever think that how she is in “Crash” is how she is in real life.  Amanda Seyfried’s Armani Prive dress makes her look really flat, but she looks clean and I am sure that it will photograph neatly and look elegant.  My cohort’s review of Faith Hill’s ensemble?  ”I like her body.  And her face.”  Rachel McAdams looks beautiful.  The dress looks dope with her highlights.  Those earrings are major.  Miley Cyrus: good bod, bad hair, bad earrings.  Elizabeth Banks’ dress is a nice shade of grey and fits nicely in the bodice, but is too ruffly at the bottom.  Matthew Broderick looks like he’s having a hard time.  I think SJP looks amazing.  I love the hair.  It’s really special and she may be one of the only throw-back stars who makes indelible fashion statements that will truly stand the test of time.  Peanut gallery said her hair “looks like a butterfly.”  I don’t like SJP’s fly-aways at the hairline.  I really, really like SJP’s dress from the back.  Not sure I “get” the rosettes on Charlize’s rack.  But the contrast between the lilac of the dress and her red lip  is sharp.  Just cracked a beer.  Writing juices now flowing.  George Clooney is rocking douchey frat-boy hair.  J.Lo’s hair looks kind of rough.  Is it humid or something?   Why is everyone’s hair askew?   Good dress for Meryl Streep.  Hair is weird on top and I think she is wearing way too many diamonds.  Demi Moore!  Sick color on her and I like the hair!  J. Lo’s dress cuts a beautiful silhouette, but I think the sheen cheapens it.  Keanu Reeves has pubes on his face.  Kristen Stewart looks good.  Cut to Taylor Lautner posing like an action doll on the red carpet.  You were in “Twilight”; You’re not Sean Connery.  Stop posing like that, nerd.  Gabourey Sibide just gave Keanu Reeves a fist pound.  Ryan Seacrest just told the cameraman to “widen this thing out”  in order to catch Gaby’s full look.  Is that allowed?

Last night was the People’s Choice Awards.  I could google around and give you some lame sentence on what these awards stand for and why you should care, but coming from a PR background I am hiving just thinking about the logistical nightmare that no doubt surrounded this celebrity dog show.  Instead of some fluffy semantics about an event that ruined a thousand industry professionals’ week, I will simply showcase my favorite looks of the night, the dresses I thought were beat and entertain myself with the fact that people think my Mom looks like Cloris Leachman.    

This is Cloris Leachman.

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